Song Reflection – “Only”

I find it interesting when I hear a song and it affects me differently than before. I think it’s a sign of change though not necessarily a sign of growth. Whether one has grown depends on several factors that can be difficult to pinpoint and will most likely vary between individuals. However one defines or describes it, one can reflect on one’s own experience and determine whether one has grown or simply changed somehow. I think it’s important to do so.

One of the songs on my workout playlist is “Only” by Nine Inch Nails. It’s usually a warmup song, but I found myself reflecting on the lyrics recently. NiN songs are hardly sunshine-and-rainbows fare, but as I let the words of the first verse sink in, I thought about my self-image and the emotional resolution I’ve found to my lost love.

It has been an excruciating road for me, but I’ve arrived at a place where I understand and embrace confidence and self-worth. Not in a way which is self-absorbed but in a way which enables me to care much more deeply and openly about others, no longer fearing giving of myself because I now know how to set boundaries and to cut off toxic people. Letting go of what was familiar yet painful and destructive has allowed me to embrace what is real and enriched my zest for life. It has been truly cathartic and liberating. I’ll close with the lyrics to the first verse and chorus since those are the ones which apply here, and I’ll omit the repetition as it appears in the song.

I’m becoming less defined as days go by.

Fading away. Well, you might say I’m losing focus.

Kinda drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself.

Sometimes I think I can see right through myself.

Less concerned about fitting into the world. Your world, that is.

‘Cause it doesn’t really matter anymore.

Yes I am alone. But then again, I always was

As far back as I can tell.

I think maybe it’s because,

Because you were never really real to begin with.

I just made you up to hurt myself.

And it worked. Yes it did.

There is no you. There is only me.

Not So Much

“Wacky” is one of those words that overpromises and underdelivers. Seldom, if ever, does something billed as “wacky” turn out to be truly wacky. Kind of like getting one of those “Hello my name is” stickers at an event, writing “Bugs Bunny” on it, then describing yourself as “wild and crazy” for doing it.

A Thanksgiving Offer

Thanksgiving conversation got you stressed? Worried that some horrifying comments will spark a food fight or a drunken brawl involving kitchen cutlery and blowtorches? Well worry no more.
As a community service to you guys, I’ll be available to run into the room dressed as a rabbit, shout profanity while juggling bean bags, play a quick little tune on a harmonica very badly, then throw packing peanuts on everyone before running out of the room. That should shake up the energy in the room enough to allow you to easily change the subject.

Thus Spake Springfield

It’s surprising how song lyrics can hit you different ways at different times. I was listening to “Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield over the weekend because I love 80s music and of course I was. That particular song stands out to me because I don’t recall any other song lyrics employing the phrase “the point is probably moot”. However, the lyrics to the bridge struck a particular chord with me because they so perfectly summarize the vast majority of my romantic experiences.

And I’m looking in the mirror all the time,

Wondering what she don’t see in me.

I’ve been funny, I’ve been cool with the lines.

Ain’t that the way love’s supposed to be?

Of course, the point of those experiences is also probably moot. Mr. Springfield, you know me all too well.

A Distinctly ‘Murican Olympic Event

I caught a bit of the diving competition yesterday and it got me thinking about an event for those who can’t dedicate all of their time to being an athlete yet still somehow aren’t counted as professional athletes.

Redneck diving.

  • It would be conducted from the same heights as current Olympic diving platforms.
  • Platform presentation is an important scoring component, so divers are encouraged to dress outlandishly and carry bizarre accessories.
  • Another scoring component centers around what the diver yells as they leave the platform and approach the water, how clearly it can be understood, how unusual the wording is, and how funny it sounds overall.
  • Divers can enter the water in any manner they choose. Bigger, higher splashes will result in higher scores. Higher scores will also be awarded based on how painful the dive sounded or looked.

If curling is a sport, redneck diving should be too.