A Distinctly ‘Murican Olympic Event

I caught a bit of the diving competition yesterday and it got me thinking about an event for those who can’t dedicate all of their time to being an athlete yet still somehow aren’t counted as professional athletes.

Redneck diving.

  • It would be conducted from the same heights as current Olympic diving platforms.
  • Platform presentation is an important scoring component, so divers are encouraged to dress outlandishly and carry bizarre accessories.
  • Another scoring component centers around what the diver yells as they leave the platform and approach the water, how clearly it can be understood, how unusual the wording is, and how funny it sounds overall.
  • Divers can enter the water in any manner they choose. Bigger, higher splashes will result in higher scores. Higher scores will also be awarded based on how painful the dive sounded or looked.

If curling is a sport, redneck diving should be too.

One thought on “A Distinctly ‘Murican Olympic Event

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