Winter Is Good

I like cold weather. Part of the reason is because I’m hot-natured and it just feels more comfortable to me. Give me a couple of blankets and a room where it’s cold enough to hang meat, I’m a happy guy. There’s another thing I really enjoy about cold weather: women wearing turtlenecks. There’s just something alluring about them. I like the way they accentuate the female form. They can be dressed up or down. A turtleneck and jeans is relaxed, playful…and hot as hell.

I also like the way the long neck draws attention to what’s on top. It showcases the hair and the smile, which are the first two things I notice. Not the only two, of course. But certainly the first two. Hey guys, you’re going to have to look her in the eyes and actually talk to her face eventually. Do yourself a favor and start there. It’s a great place to be.

Turtlenecks are the bikinis of winter. In a manner of speaking. Okay, that was a horrible metaphor. What can I say? I’m distracted…

It’s a Need

I’m generally a laid-back guy who likes smooth sailing on calm seas. I won’t shy away from conflict if it’s necessary, but I try to be accommodating and keep peaceful resolution as the goal. That being said, I sometimes feel a deep, almost uncontrollable urge to engage in an argument. Not in the context of a relationship, though. Those have enough static on their own without creating any extra. Besides, I don’t need to be in a relationship in order to piss someone off. That’s what social media is for.

So I find myself itching for an argument yet not wanting to just tear into someone out of the blue. I resolve this by arguing with online videos and television commercials. A quick and easy way to fold a fitted sheet, you say? NO DAMN WAY! “Four out of five dentists recommend it.” That’s because two of those four dentists are dumbasses! “A great-tasting, healthy alternative snack.” BULLSHIT!

I have no explanation. It’s just part of my weird world.

 

Human Cat Video

My office building is a downtown landmark of sorts, so it’s quite old. It has one of those old school mail chutes in it which extends the full height of the hallway on each floor and is transparent. Normally it just looks like part of the wall and I don’t even notice it when I walk by. Then there are those times when a letter drops down the chute just as I’m walking¬†past it.¬†My reaction feels like one of those videos in which a cat gets startled and leaps four feet straight up into the air.

* Just walking down the hallway, no big deal AAAAAAHHHHH KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!! *