Various Responses I’ve Kept to Myself

During conversations, we all have thoughts which pop into our minds but are better left unsaid. Here are a few I’ve had recently in various social contexts. Feel free to use them if you like. Enjoy!

  • “I should post this on Twitter so I can cuss freely.”
  • “Clearly you’re very impressed with yourself. And clearly you’re the only one who is.”
  • “Wow. I haven’t seen this many straw men since Halloween.”
  • “Shut up about the fucking forks already.”
  • “Give me an hour and what’s left of you could fit in a shoebox.”
  • “I’m explaining this in English and I’m using small words. Why do you look confused?”
  • “He looks like a skeevy date rapist.”